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Nov. 4th, 2007

10:30 pm

i like the sentences that operate like breath cycles. long clause, meat of the sentence. and then you mix it up and go: meat of the sentence, long clause. literary polyrhythms are the chronic. in prose only. jesus moses marx if i haven't written a poem since august. odd times.

measuring productivity. i felt so useless today. at no point did i feel accomplished. at every point i wanted nothing more than to take a nap. or really just to get sixteen hours of sleep and not wake up until 7 a.m. tomorrow for candy desk duty. i look up at the end of the day and realize that i read eighty pages of a mediocre book for a sociology class and wrote six (not mediocre) single-spaced pages of screenplay for another class. i've done better, but this wasn't bad.

i had such a genuinely great time yesterday that i really felt some difficulty in adjusting back to the mundane life. i need to go to the deer park more often. or at least leave williamsburg more often. or at least find the jovial side of williamsburg more often.

show opportunities seem to be multiplying. good.

Current Location: 1206-b
Current Music: the beauty pill - cigarette girl from the future

Nov. 2nd, 2007

05:08 pm

i could not be more eager to leave this town. i no longer derive any sense of satisfaction from my academic studies (and, yes, once upon a time i did. the fact that i cannot even seem to enjoy my faulkner {my favorite author ever, no debate} class is pretty damning.). every social scenario seems a dead end. a solid core of platonic friends is evidence of some success, but two thirds of those kids will be gone soon too and i would enjoy the other third's company much more in different environs. in my last entry, i noted that i lack imagination. i mean that i lack social imagination. i am perpetually more and more convinced of this. i can look at a woman for whom i possess some attraction (no matter the root of the attraction), and never evident to me is there a course of action for the future flowing out of that attraction, never. i just think, "how nice. what a perfectly charming girl." i am not quite so quaint as that. almost, i am almost that outmoded. i should have born to my grandfathers' generation...and i should have packed heat...and been named phillip marlowe...or sam spade...but not...i should have been on the other side of the fence and made a million on the tables in havana during the batista years and bought a pastel yellow yacht and smoked a j here and there and everywhere while i cruised and worried not about skin cancer, the cancer that we are all getting no matter what.

for all of my distaste for williamsburg, there is no place that jumps to mind as a possible destination for me. certainly, there are plenty of places i could move to and find a job that would be sufficient for me to eke by on and maybe save a dime or two. i could move to richmond or charlottesville or new york or i could live in the basement. no matter where i go, i will have to pay more to get by (and not just because my parents will not be supporting me anymore - more as a result of the fact that i ain't too likely to be finding $175 a month accommodations anywhere in this country of ours). i will need to get a job, and i do not want a job, and lee bristow says that i should not get a job, and this is a run-on sentence. man, if i could sell a screenplay, i would be one lucky dog. i should probably finish this screenplay (instead of spending time writing words using this infernal application) before i start thinking about whoring it off. it probably won't be marketable (my art? marketable? hell naw! me? starve? fuck yes!) anyway.

maybe i just should have been a gambler. i think that i should have been a gambler. so many cats seem to be making it large on the tables nowadays.

Current Location: 1206-b
Current Music: weezer - pinkerton

Oct. 31st, 2007

01:35 pm

the dream scenario, a daydream scenario, not a nightdream scenario, a scenario that more or less just played out for a dear friend of mine, runs a little something like this: you are entity "a". entity "b", a friend, contacts you indirectly (via facebook or im or e-mail or text message or beer advocate message {i think that they have a messaging feature of some ilk or another} - it does not matter, just not via phone call or in person) to tell "a", you, that his or her close friend "c", whom "a", you, perhaps never thought to have an advanced affection for but for whom "a", you, could easily come to develop an advanced affection for based on the sheer high quality of his or her character, has an affection for "a", you, and that "a", you, ought to pursue him or her, "c". and, then, "a", you, pursues him or her, "c", possibly successfully, possibly not - that is not really the point.

what is the point? the point is that this sort of a scenario is beautiful, because it takes the hard work out of an important set of human interactions. some might wonder as to just what is so laborious about being direct with other people about one's feelings. well, in my book, approaching another entity about feelings of this nature is work, whether hard or not, by virtue of being of oriented toward an end, however vaguely defined. the work is hard. the reasons for the work being hard are quite simple. to me, hardness equates to difficulty and difficulty to the factors pulling one in the direction of non-completion of the task at hand. in the case of romantic human endeavor, those factors are multitudinous and compelling. face is at stake. embarrassment of the highest order is at issue. one human being judging another in relation to criteria that emerge from the arbiters most intimate values. the emotional stress of contact is immense, and the potential for cold, hard distress afterwards, if one's efforts find with failure, is daunting.

of course, relying upon others to convey one's intimate or becoming intimate feelings is a sure marker of passivity, but perhaps we need to reevaluate how our society views passivity and activity. (i might insert that i do not nor have i ever believed in either the correctness or the relevance of such a concept as free will.) when one resigns oneself to the forces of the world, one thing that one does is open oneself up to accusations of being in possession of something like a middle-school level of maturity. i am not certain that i see anything wrong with this. why should we masochistically open ourselves up to humiliation? i have no use for it. besides, a mature, mutually healthful relationship can grow out of the weeds of an inauspicious garden bed just as easily, perhaps more easily, as out of a professionally manicured bed. i would even object (wholeheartedly so!) to my own use of the modifier "inauspicious". that shit is irrelevant. we all compose a social fabric. our lots are intertwined. helping a brother or a sister out is essential. facilitating communication where communication might not know how to take place is a public service.

the scenario is dependent on a little bit of luck (by luck i mean indeterministic chance) but so is everything. i can wait. maybe i can do some whispering of my own and begin a new chain of auspicious immature happiness. maturity is for suckers. case in point, on multiple occasions i have been accused of being mature. we all know that i am a sucker. that is no state secret. at the moment i am unlikely to go about starting just such a chain. i do not have any ideas. i have no imagination. i have formal imagination (imagination directed toward the modification of forms, not toward working within established forms), just not practical imagination.

i like moving images. i should stand up and take a walk (if only i did not have a bit of - loving - work to do my screenplay right now...oh, the irony!) and perhaps become one for someone else, one worthy of grasping at..

Current Location: 1206-b
Current Music: deerhoof

Oct. 24th, 2007

04:38 pm - this is a short one

there are only two significant reasons for my being an incredibly ineffective activist (despite my being one of the very few most involved people in left/far left causes, since i have been in college):

1. i hate people
2. i am stretched too thin

i fixed the second one, but the first still abides.

Current Location: 1206-b
Current Music: uncle tupelo

04:07 pm

so, if you want to know what just about the worst thing you can do at a house party in williamsburg, virginia, is, this is it:

stand around outside when you do not even need to be outside because you are not smoking cigarettes. do not really pay any mind to modulating the volume of your voice. when a neighbor, who has small children trying to sleep, comes over and asks you nicely to be quieter, laugh at her thus prompting her to go call the cops.

do not be respectful of the neighbor. do not be respectful of the residents of the house. do not even tell the residents of the house. risk their having to pay a multi-hundred dollar noise violation (this would not have been a first offense), toward which you will contribute not one dime.

leave the residents of the house to find out about the incident from a clerk at the 7/11 the next morning.

whoever you are, whatever your name is (and it occurs to me that i probably know you and possibly am even friends with you), FUCK YOU.

thankfully, kim rolla (future lawyer that she ought to be) argued the cop out of giving us a violation. good work on her part.

how fucking ridiculous is that? pretty ridiculous. pretty ridiculous, indeed.


last weekend's show was awesome. grits wrestling was awesome. the party at our house was otherwise awesome. the wcwm show last night was awesome.

solitude (21.8821927808 years and counting) is a mixed bag.

Current Location: 1206-b
Current Music: speedking - monosodium glutamate

Oct. 18th, 2007

06:03 pm

there is a story somewhere in here, in my head, waiting to be written. the story will not have to linger long. no, the story will be put to the page (or the screen) quite soon. i will share it with you. it has already been shared with some of you via the medium of oral storytelling, which is not a bad medium in its own right. still, there is something about the word imprisoned on the page that strikes me as so pathetic, so heartrending, so beautiful. like the fascist that everyone knows that i am, i do love to oppress.

just kiddin'.

to do list (in order of likely completion date):

1. write the best screenplay ever written
2. write the best academic paper on "light in august" ever written
3. write the best novel ever written

...but i will settle for mediocrity. do not think that i will not.

i need to find someplace to run off to after college. it might be bolivia, but something strikes me as unlikely about that plan, perhaps its lack of likelihood. somewhere cheap. somewhere with cheap/diy live music. somewhere accommodating (accommodating enough) of veganism. somewhere warm. that means not cold expensive new york, no matter what my (wonderful) aunt wants me to do.


i dunno

being single, one must keep in mind, is not without its perks, as i am periodically reminded. within certain societal bounds, which i will even transgress from time to time, i can be wherever i want to be whenever i want to be there. i forget sometimes that this is sometimes an issue for people. the anti-obligation of solitude. freedom, well, not freedom. ain't such a thing as that, no matter what these accursed existentialists try to whisper in my ear. freedom is what?


i suppose that is right, i do suppose. but, i do not have to shave; i do not have to do my laundry; i do not have to be considerate; i do not have to consider; i do not have to bow down to red icons. and, i do not.

all i want to do is soak in the bathtub reading deleuze and sipping gin.
now, that is a ramones song for you.
all i want to do is hit a game winning three pointer in game seven of the nba finals.
now, that is a ramones song for you.

Current Location: 1206b
Current Music: the avett brothers - emotionalism

Oct. 9th, 2007

12:00 am

bombay sapphire and 100% pomegranate juice is, as far as drinks that are too sugary for their own good are concerned, probably the best combination in the history of this quaint world of ours. by golly, how perfectly do the flavors complement each other? so perfectly!

d.u.v. has been practicing up a storm. i am very eager to play shows in the not too distant future. we sound really great, if i may say so myself. i might, i might!

fall break will be quite nice. i would like to get a hefty slice of screenplay written so long as there are not too many distractions about.

my life is still my life. i look for distraction wherever i can find it (including here). what choice do i have? (the short answer to that question is none. i am an indeterminist. i do not believe in free will.)

Current Location: 1206-b
Current Music: out hud (i'm about to fall asleep listening to dance music)

Oct. 3rd, 2007

12:41 pm

just over a month since my last update. things, at least those things that concern solely me, have been very mundane. there is apparent tragedy out in the world, and i empathize. unfortunately, there is only so much that one can do sometimes. it feels disempowering, and the reason why it feels disempowering is that it is disempowering.

classes have been going along fine. i am probably going to get very good grades this semester, for what that is worth, which is very little. i guess i'll probably go to grad school at some point and having had decent grades certainly won't be something that i will regret. i do not feel particularly passionate about any of my classes this semester, including faulkner, which is surprising. there are few, if any, authors who generally excite my passions to a greater extent than faulkner does. i think i basically just wish that the twenty-five to thirty person class had six people in it. then, it would be worthwhile. we are so spoiled here at william and mary on that account, if not on any other account. the class sizes are phenomenal, most of the time. that i could so begrudge a class that would be considered small at many other institutions, that is a sign of privilege. i do care about the screenplay i am writing, but i do not care about going class, although i do it, for two and a half hours at five in the evening on my last day of class before a four day weekend, which happens every weekend.

we have had some tippity top-notch meridian shows and are going to continue to have shows of similar caliber for the foreseeable future. that is a fact that makes me smile. the project that i really want to commence working on is setting up some sort of a williamsburg house show network. there are too many bands that want to come through town for the meridian to accommodate all of them, not even taking into account the heightened demand for venues in the aftermath of the dramatic scaling back of house shows in richmond.

my radio show is going very well. why i did not finish my training freshman year and start djing then, i will never understand and always regret.

digging up virgins started practicing again this week. i am very happy about that. things have been sounding really stellar. anus livercide is opening for marsupials and the moste potente potions at the meridian on november 16. that should be insane. maybe too insane. no such thing. no such thing.


i feel a little bit like doing something old-fashioned like asking a woman out on a date. how quaint!...but, then again, look at what i am listening to.

i ended a sentence in a preposition. shit!

also, i need to continue working on my novel. i have been slacking something serious. focus, thom, focus. also, this entry is over.

Current Location: 1206b
Current Music: the left banke - i've got something on my mind

Sep. 2nd, 2007

11:14 am

dinosaur jr. is playing at the black cat on tuesday, november 27, for $20. tickets go on sale on friday, september 7. i expect them to sell out. hop on that shit. now i know what i am doing this friday. get pumped!

the meridian is golden in a dark red sort of way. the show last night went incredibly well.

williamsburg is always so much more lively during the semester's first days. it is too bad the energy cannot or at least will not be sustained.

nothing much to say today
i need to do some laundry

Current Location: 1206b
Current Music: neutral milk hotel - in the aeroplane over the sea

Aug. 24th, 2007

05:41 pm

i forgot to mention that there are cats everywhere. everywhere. cats at my house in williamsburg. cats at my house in springfield. cats at katie's house. cat's at jonathan's house. even though my parents have only had the two cats for less than a week at this point, the place is already wretched. williamsburg is actually the safest bet of them all, because olive, cute little thing that she is, is so small. sneeze sneeze itch itch my eyes are red (NOT RIGHT NOW! - Olive, Never Grow Up.).

it makes me sad that bruce springsteen has gotten popular. i want desperately for my guilty pleasures to remain just that, guilty. dear arcade fire, fuck you!...and i should add that anyone (and there a lot of you out there) who thinks that neon bible is a better album than funeral is wrong wrong wrong - so wrong. leave my bruce alone!

now, i am going to leave y'all and go listen to some metallica.

Current Location: 1206-b
Current Music: bruce fuckin springsteen

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